I don’t feel like writing much today. I’m kind of in a weird mood – tired and grumpy, and a little emotional. It’s cd13 and I haven’t O’d yet. My temp has stayed pretty stable the last few days, which is nice. My pre-O temps this month have all (but two) been as high as my last couple coverlines, so that’s nice to see. The BD marathon is pretty successful so far (not successful in that it has ended in a BFP…yet, but that we are still enjoying ourselves).
I think I have a “case of the Mondays”. I feel great over the weekend, enjoy myself, enjoy spending time outside and with my husband, and BAM! Monday morning rolls around and I feel like sh*%. The only cure is to quit. And yes, that day is coming soon, but it’s not here yet. And until it is, it feels like it may never happen. Kinda like getting pregnant, I guess. Until it’s actual happened, it’s just a hope and a dream.
DH nailed up every inch of that fence last night. I was planning on leaving Eddie inside this morning, but we’re planning on going to Delaware tomorrow for the Punkin’ Chunkin’, so we need to know whether the fence will hold him before we go. He’s not a digger (unless he smells a mouse under the deck), and he’s not a climber (to our knowledge anyway), so I think we should be okay with this latest fix. We have added “fence rebuild” though, to our spring to-do list.
The Punkin’ Chunkin’ should be fun! Hubby’s “big brother” in his fraternity in college has invited us out the last couple of years, and this is the first time we’ve been able to go. It’ll be nice to get out of the area, even if just briefly. I haven’t gone anywhere since we went to New Mexico after my MIL died. It looks like the weather will cooperate too, which is quite a change.
Today is cd10, and typically the start of our BD marathon around ovulation. I am planning on using OPKs once again this cycle – and will try to use them twice a day as someone recommended once. I’ve never gotten a positive on those things, and since we BD anyway on all the right days, I didn’t really see the value in them. But apparently, if you’ve never gotten a positive, it could mean that your ovulation window is so short that you’ve missed the surge. So testing in the morning and again in the evening (or more often even) will show a better picture of your ovulation surge. Since I was so unsure last cycle of when I ovulated because my temps were so out of wack, I’m going to use them to confirm it. Even unsure, we still hit all the right days last cycle, so it’s not a timing issue anyway…
I have been taking FertileCM this cycle too, since around cd5, and Air Power (guaifenesin) since cd7 or 8. So far, I haven’t seen any fertile mucus, but I guess we’ll see if this stuff had any effect in a couple days! Base on cd14 ovulation last month, I’m assuming I’ll see something soon.
I hope everyone has a great weekend, and gets out to enjoy the lovely fall weather before it becomes winter weather soon!
The little stinker did it again!
Got the phone call from my neighbor at noon. Luckily, I was planning on going home anyway for lunch since I forgot to pack one. I guess DH missed a spot when he was tacking down the wire – at the bottom of the fence toward the corner. It was hard to see in the daytime, much less after dark when he was working on it. Eddie was happy to oblige this time, so when I walked out behind the fence and called him he slipped right through! I stuck a big log up against it for now, but then shut Ed up in the house anyway.
It was all fun and games for the doggy – he got to visit the neighbor three times this week! That’s three free playdates with Dan’s dogs, three milk bone treats, three days of running around in the woods to his heart’s content. He’s going to have a rude awakening tomorrow when he’s stuck inside all day. I’m not letting him out into the yard by himself until we get some daylight hours this weekend to double-triple-quadruple-check the fence.
Silly doggy.
And just for fun, I’ll leave you with a picture of me, DH and Eddie 
. (Is it obvious how thrilled my hubby is to be on the bottom of that pile?)
This is the time of year when I am so thankful we moved into a new office last year and I have windows! The sun has come up by the time I leave for work in the morning, but it is mostly set by the time I get home in the evening. The last couple years at our old location, I worked in an interior office in a building with no windows. In mid-winter, I’d get to work before it was fully light out, and come home after dark. What a miserable existence that is! I never had a problem getting sunlight when I lived in Louisiana, because I was a student most of those years and was able to get out a lot more. Now that I’m an “adult” and have been working indoors for quite a few years, it’s a lot harder. I have been diagnosed with SAD (seasonal affective disorder), which I’ve learned is just code for Vitamin D deficient. My vit. D level last year was 29 ng/ml. Optimal levels are from 40-50 ng/ml. Low vitamin D levels have been linked to infertility, PCOS specifically, and several autoimmune diseases, as well as several types of cancer. Hopefully the fermented cod liver oil I’ve been taking lately will boost my levels enough to avoid the depression that usually hits me in the winter.
I’m on cd9, and I’ve noticed the last few days (ever since daylight savings) that my temp has stayed at a consistent 97.3, which is higher than average for me pre-ovulation. They usually take a few days to drop after cd1, but then they drop to around 96.8, so I’m thinking 97.3 is much better . I just wonder if they will drop again once my body has adjusted to the time change?
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On the way home from work Monday, our neighbor Dan calls me and tells me that he found Eddie in the driveway and he brought him into his house because he was worried he’d wander into the street. He’s only gotten out once or twice before – we leave him in the house, but he’s got doggy door access to the fenced yard all day – and it was usually because I’d forgotten to latch the gate all the way. Apparently, because of all of the rain we had this summer and the resulting erosion, there was a spot under the fence that he was able to fit through. I’m sure he had a fun time playing in the woods, taking a dip in the river, and visiting the other neighbor’s dog who is in a pen by our driveway. He likes to sit there and stare at the other dog, and I’ve caught him doing it when he’s been outside with me while I’m weeding.
So, I retrieve him from Dan’s house, where he’s had a grand ole’ time getting milk bones and playing with Dan’s dogs, and I promised our neighbor that we’d get it all patched and he wouldn’t be able to get out again. DH couldn’t fix the hole in the fence until Wednesday after work (in the dark), so Eddie spent Tuesday in the house.
Yesterday morning around 10, I get a call from Dan. Again. The little booger had managed to get out somehow…how?! DH and I had driven into work together and he was in DC, so I couldn’t get home to put him in the house, and Dan offered to just keep him all day (what a sweetheart!). I finally got over there after work, and promised Dan (again) that we’d find wherever it is that he was getting out and fix it…or keep him in the house again. I felt horrible for inconveniencing him like that, although he said he didn’t mind at all. DH took Eddie into the yard, and I walked into the woods and started calling the dog, thinking he’d want to be with me enough that he’d give away his spot. It took us 20 minutes, and me traipsing around every inch of the fence (it’s surrounded by trees, in a hilly area, and is not straight, so was quite a feat), but eventually Eddie couldn’t take being separated from me any more and FINALLY scooted through the fence at the back of the property. There was some chicken wire that had been tacked against the fence in that area, and it had come untacked but you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you went up and pushed it away from the fence with your hand. DH fixed it all up…again.
Later, I brought Dan a big plate of brownies as a thank-you, and assured him that we found the spot (for real this time) and fixed it. So, I’m just waiting…waiting to see if my phone rings today. Praying the little escape artist doesn’t find a new way out. This is really unlike him – I think it’s because he’s fascinated with the new dog next door (they’ve only had him in that pen for about a month). He normally spends his entire day on the couch….or like this:
Hopefully the dog story didn’t bore you to death, but I’m just glad that’s the most drama that’s going on in my life right now .
I’m so happy it’s already Wednesday. Last week just draaaagged on so slowly, and I was worried that this week would do the same.
Yesterday was my second appointment with the hypnotherapist. It went really well! I had a little bit of anxiety the hour or two before my appointment, but I think I was just getting nervous about whether or not this would ever work for me. I was able to calm myself down pretty well, and so was pretty relaxed by the time I got there. She tried a different approach this time – something called Time Line therapy. The neat thing about it is that you can travel to a point in time that is traumatic, feel how your body is reacting, and then travel to a different point before the event and feel the difference in your body. Then, you can convince your body to react differently to the event (you don’t have to know what it is), and you can test it out by going back to that time and noticing that those same reactions to it are no longer there. It was very cool. I may not ever recall any memories or understand what actually happened, but the part that is important is to ensure that it longer has any control over my well-being now.
I don’t know whether I was truly “hypnotized” or not in the sense that I couldn’t tell whether we were dealing with the conscious or subconscious mind, but I felt relaxed and that chatter in my head was gone. I was just there – and didn’t “think” about anything that was happening, just let it be. I have to say, as soon as I opened my eyes afterward, I felt fantastic! Lighter than air, just floating on a bubble, and in a great mood. Calm, happy. I tried to recall a couple of the thoughts that had stressed me out earlier in the day (my sister’s endo is acting up again, job stuff) and my heart didn’t start racing as it normally would. I was “testing”, if you will.
All evening, the calm remained. I slept really well, and this morning – still calm. We’re going to give it to the end of the week, and then I’ll decide if I need a third session or not.
I think the weather change is affecting me. It was over 70 degrees yesterday, and is in the 40’s today. My head is splitting all of a sudden and I feel warm. I don’t think I’m coming down with anything serious, because it just hit me after I left the house this morning, but I’m making sure that I don’t miss taking my cod liver oil and will try to get in bed a little earlier tonight. Just in case. I’ve been using the neti-pot every day, but forgot this morning. It’s helpful for clearing the sinuses and to wash away any germs or viruses that might have found their way there during the day. I keep trying to get DH to use it for sinus problems and allergies (it works better than bena.dryl for an allergic reaction to cat hair!), but he’s completely resistant. Oh well…
And…drumroll please! The end to my misery is in sight!
DH and I have set November 30th as the day I will give my two week’s notice at work. Yay! That will give us four paydays with his new salary and mine combined – as a buffer. And then, I have to dig up a part time job . I’m scouring job sites, Craigs.list, and trying to think of things that don’t involve administrative/office type work. I don’t have to make much, and I’m trying to limit it to 15 hours a week if possible. Anyone have any ideas for good/interesting part-time work? Any and all suggestions are welcome!
I hope everyone had a fun Halloween .
We spent Saturday evening at at J.ames and Mic.hele’s house in Virginia, and had a blast. I had a costume all picked out – I was going to be Carmen Sandiego with a red trench and fedora and black pants and gloves. Because it ended up being almost 70 degrees Saturday night, I decided instead to just go as a cowgirl, since I already had a cowboy hat and boots. Much cooler . There were quite a few trick-or-treaters, but probably not as many as usual because of the rain. They made Pad Thai, which turned out really yummy and actually was gluten-free and soy-free as well. The Dutch apple and Five Berry pie with vanilla ice cream on the other hand, was not (and I paid for it the next day with lots and lots of bloating…ugh). We played Beatles Rock Band all night – it was a blast! I had never played Rock Band before, only Guitar Hero, so I was excited to try the drums. It was loads of fun .
Sunday, our friend killed a deer and called DH up to get some help cleaning it. It’s a long process (took them about 6 hours to break it down and package all of the meat), so it’s nice to have an extra hand. And for his efforts, he brought home venison! We have a couple roasts, some steaks, some stew meat, and some ground meat. Last year they had given us some stew meat just to try (probably to bribe DH into helping the next time), and we made chili. But, we’ve had a lot of chili around here lately, so I think we’ll start with Guinness Stew. I haven’t tried to make it before, but it used to be our favorite meal at the German-Australian expat bar we used to frequent in Seoul (they also had the best burger and fries I’ve ever had in my life, bar-none). I just need to find a recipe that looks like the one we used to eat – it was really hearty, dark and peppery.
While he was helping out with the deer, I spent all day doing laundry and cleaning. I did 6 or 7 loads of laundry – I’m pretty sure neither of us had any clean clothes left! I also washed sheets, towels, the dog bed, and anything else I saw laying around. It was a lot, but I finished up around 6 pm and got a lot done in between each load. Like cleaning the kitchen, sweeping the floors, dusting, and cleaning out the pellet stove. Other than to fold clothes, I didn’t sit down all day! And I wasn’t falling down with exhaustion at the end of it either! I am really happy with my energy level these days. Yesterday was the last day of AF (just some spotting), so it’s not normally a high-energy time of the cycle for me. I just feel a lot more even these days. I think it’s due to the fact that I’m FINALLY being consistent with taking all of my supplements every day. Not every other day – EVERY day. I think it makes a huge difference.
Currently, I’m taking fermented cod liver oil (about 1 tbsp daily – more than the regular dose since I am Vit. D deficient), thyroid with liver pills (3-6 per day), Floradix iron & herbs (gluten-free formula), a multivitamin (3 capsules), and I just started taking the Bio-Kult probiotic with the evening meal (2 capsules). Between these supplements and the diet, I am feeling pretty fantastic overall. This AF, for the second time in a row, I didn’t gain any weight or bloat during AF. Truly amazing. I lost about 3-4 lbs pretty quickly when I started this diet (mostly water weight – all that bloat), and my weight has remained consistent since then. I would normally gain ~3 lbs on cd1, so that’s a nice change.
I’m on cd6 now, and looking forward to getting the “show on the road” for this cycle. I started the FertileCM on cd3, and will be using OPK’s just to make sure I don’t miss an early ovulation. I’ll also be taking Air Power (guaifenesin) starting today or tomorrow if I can remember). I’m trying not to obsess about this cycle, but it’ll be hard not to. Because our anniversary is the 25th. 7 years. And, either AF or BFP will show up right before then. I keep thinking how cool it would be to be able to surprise my husband on our anniversary. And my mom will be in town visiting for Thanksgiving, so it would be even more perfect to be able to be able to share it with her. Of course, every variation of this type of “perfect timing” has occurred over the last few years to no avail, so I am trying not to put too much hope into a BFP. Still, a girl can dream…
Okay, at the meeting with the IF support group this morning I realized that I can’t change my progesterone at least for another cycle because I’m doing the saliva hormone profile this month! I started it on cd1, and you collect every 3 days all the way throughout the cycle. I need to wait and see those results and see what Dr. Jen recommends (she’s the one who ordered it)
I will talk to Dr. Scar about the prescription on Monday, though. I want to ask him if we can do the natural progesterone in a suppository form. It’s made at a compounding pharmacy, so if he wants me to get more progesterone, all he has to do is specify the amount. I’m just not sure I’m ready to move to something else when I’m seeing results from the cream already (no spotting at all before AF this cycle!!! And a lot less cramping and heavy bleeding!).
I forgot that the reason I saw Dr. Scar was to have someone who could do all of the ultrasounds and all of the stuff that Dr. Jen wouldn’t be able to do to monitor my endo. Well, she could order the tests, but since she’s out of network (and cash only), it would be more expensive to do it through her. I’m going to get the results and consult with her before I make any decisions about switching to Prometrium. And only do that if he won’t order the nat’l progesterone suppositories. I don’t know why he wouldn’t – I just didn’t think to ask during the appointment. I hate when you think of stuff the next day that you should have asked!
I hope everyone has a fun Halloween!
It seems like all I do lately is go to the doctor.
This morning, I went to my long-awaited appointment with my new ObGyn. Except that instead of long-awaited, let’s call it barely-remembered-I-had-an-appointment-until-last-night-when-the-reminder-popped-up-on-the-calendar. Whew. I made it over a month ago, so you can understand how I forgot about it. But, still, what kind of infertile girl forgets a doctor appointment? Anyway, moving on…
I showed up 10 minutes late because my GPS told me to turn left when I should have turned right and I drove around confused for a while. I’m generally a 15 minutes early kinda gal, so this bothered me to no end. The receptionist didn’t seem too worried, so I just shrugged it off. Of course, they got me back by making me wait ONE HOUR to see the doctor. That is beyond ridiculous, in my opinion.
Luckily, Dr. Scar (he doesn’t have a scar, I just shortened his name) was super-nice and the appointment went really well. (Even though the nurse just looked at me blankly when she asked to copy my test results and I asked her if she wanted to copy my charts too? Like she had never seen a chart before…)
We discussed last years test results from the RE (all normal), the low progesterone test in June, the progesterone cream I’m on now, my surgeries, the fact that they tested my tube to see if it was clear during my surgery, and he even looked at my charts and declared that it was obvious to him that I was ovulating. Yay! I mean, I knew it, but it’s always nice to hear it from someone else . We talked about Hubby’s SA results, endometriosis, and adenomyosis. It was a great conversation, and I didn’t feel like he was hurrying me at all.
He has a couple thoughts on why we haven’t conceived yet. First, is that I may not being creating a good quality corpus luteum. That was kind of obvious, but he doesn’t think that I’m getting enough progesterone even with the cream to fix that problem. He would like me to start prometrium vaginal suppositories (200mg per day). Of course, my first question to him was whether he ever thinks it’s appropriate to use natural progesterone cream – because I’ve had doctors tell me that it’s just a lot of junk and they don’t believe in it. He does prescribe natural progesterone cream for his patients, but believes that he’s had more success with it in hormone replacement therapy than in his endometriosis patients. He thinks that endo patients tend to need a LOT stronger doses of progesterone. It sounds pretty reasonable to me, so I’m thinking I’m going to give it a try. At a later date, he may also want to eventually do an endometrial biopsy to rule out a corpus luteum defect if the problem continues.
Another concern he has is my fallopian tube. Even though it is clear, he is worried that it isn’t properly grabbing the egg from the ovary or that the egg is being blocked from traveling down the tube by scar tissue from the endo or the operation itself. He wants me to send him the pictures from my last surgery so he can see what state the tube was in (I can’t believe I didn’t bring them to this appointment – it didn’t even occur to me!). As far as I know, there was a spot of endo on the tube, but it was removed and it looked fine otherwise.
He also wants me to up my folic acid to at least 1,000 mcg twice a day. I just started a new multivitamin, so I’ll just take one in the morning and two in the evening (you can take up to six of them a day safely). He also wants DH on folic acid every day as well. Luckily, the Thera.logix stuff he’s taking contains 1,000 mcg (per daily dose), so I don’t have to convince him to swallow more pills (not an easy feat).
He must have told me 6 times over and over that I need to relax. Not kidding. Luckily, I’m in a happy, don’t-feel-like-I-need-to-kick-pregnant-woman-or-people-with-young kids-or-generally-anyone-that-pisses-me-off phase at the moment, so I just said “yes, I agree”. When I told him I was planning on quitting my job soon, he almost bounced out of his seat with joy! I’m not kidding! Wouldn’t that just beat all if I were one of those women who actually DID need to just relax and then poof! they’re pregnant? Oh, yeah that’s right, I have endo and adenomyosis and low progesterone too. Darn, I was feeling all optimistic there for a minute.
Even with the “just relax” advice, I was really happy with the appointment. He did say that I need to be patient and let the progesterone work for a couple months. And he did mention lupron several times – not suggesting that I need to go on it, but citing how much success they’ve had with it and getting endo patients pregnant. Umm…no thanks buddy. I told him how violently opposed I was to lupron and he said he completely understood. I was kind of surprised he didn’t mention clo.mid first off (as every other doctor has – it’s just the natural first step for most). He basically said the only thing he’d change right now is the nat’l progesterone to prometrium. He liked the way my charts looked, and said that he wouldn’t really do much else at this point! Talk about shocking. I was prepared for the whole spiel about how many years we’ve been trying, how endo works and how if we don’t get on board with the treatments soon…well I’m not getting any younger. You know, all the stuff every other doctor has said.
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Okay, I’m finishing this post after I’ve gotten home from work. I just checked my prescription for the Prometrium and it doesn’t say anything about suppositories. Of course, the doctor’s office is already closed, so I’ll have to wait and call on Monday. That’s annoying! I’m okay with progesterone vaginally or with a cream, because it’s absorbed by the body better, but if taken orally it has to go through the digestive process and is broken down by the liver – this makes most of it ineffective. We discussed all of this directly during the appointment, so hopefully he can clear it up for me on Monday.
I was proud of myself – I only teared up twice and I didn’t actually cry. He looked at me very sweetly and said “cheer up!” at one point, and at the end of the appointment asked me if I felt better, which I thought was nice.
It’s been kind of a rough week, and I’m definitely for this weekend. Tomorrow morning, I’m meeting up with our IF support group for breakfast (yay!). In the afternoon, we’re headed down to Virginia to hang out with our friends J.ames and M.ichele for Halloween. We’re dressing up and they are making home-made Pad Thai (obviously not gluten-free, but that’s okay for one day), and we’ll probably just sit around and scare whatever kids come by trick-or-treating .
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
I’m taking a late lunch today, and trying to keep my mind off of the cramps, so I decided to do this photo version of the About Me meme that I’ve see traveling around blogworld lately. I saw it most recently on Lara’s blog – Peanut Noodle. I believe the idea is that you google images to tell about yourself.
Here goes:
1. Favorite beverage
This changes depending on what part of my cycle I’m in, so I’ll give you the CD1 drink:
And my regular ole’ everyday drink:
2. Your hometown
3. Favorite TV show
4. Your occupation
5. Your first car
6. Your favorite dish
7. Celebrity you’ve been told you resemble
8. Celebrity crush
(I always feel like I’m crushin’ on a younger guy because he played a highschooler for so many years, but we’re the same age!)
9. Favorite childhood toy
10. Any random photo
Here’s a picture of DH and I at a zoo fundraiser a couple years ago .
(okay, technically that last one obviously wasn’t a googled image…but who cares?)
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